Continuing our series of Snack Food Reviews, the Bearded Giant has found another delight on a convenience store shelf. This is a local product, and without asking for translation assistance, I couldn’t tell much about it. It’s called Wheat Chicken… something… And there’s a cow on the front? Maybe a nod to Chick-Fil-A?
That looks like some darn appetizing fried chicken pieces right there. I mean, we MUST be in for a treat, right? A snack bag full of fried chicken goodness! With wheat… uhhh… added?
Something is odd about that cow, though…
That’s right, dear readers… This package has its own manufacturers name backwards on the front…
Just so you don’t think maybe it’s like Russian and backwards letters are what all the cool kids are doing these days…
There’s the logo from the back of the package.
Now about the back of the package. This snack not only comes with backwards cows and awesome fried chicken, it has life lessons too!
Apparently these snacks are good out of the house, at home, and uhh… movement when?
Now those aren’t just translations of the Chinese characters. There’s clearly more effort put into these important messages… So let’s check them out together.
First up we have “at home”.
I’m not used to being confused quite this much by my snack food selections. Apparently I should “a hundred reasons Messenger” but I need to listen to my mother before doing a simple convenient. Seeing books and cooking tutorials is a terrible choice because they don’t have enough directions? And uh… yeah… I am lost.
Let’s try yoga instead. Yoga is simple, right? Calm, slow movements. Breathing. Relaxing the mind. All good stuff. Yoga it is.
My Wheat Chicken snack is giving me a history lesson on yoga…
But apparently the person typing it died before finishing the paragraph. Science and art in a…. in a what??? I have to know!
Maybe the secret is inside.
Maybe it’s like Cracker Jacks and there’s a secret prize inside that will tell me why I should do yoga and avoid cooking shows.
Rip open the package… And….
That was not at all what I was expecting.
And no, there were no prizes inside.
Yes, I did finish the package.
But I started hating myself for doing so, about 2/3 of the way through. Yoga didn’t help.
As for what they taste like? Ummm… Not chicken?
They taste like a Wednesday afternoon episode of a soap opera that begins with “the part of Joe Hammer is now being played by…”
You might grow to like them after a while. But it is going to take commitment. Nothing is going to feel right for a while. And you really don’t even know if you should try.
I give these a rating of “forty reasons Messenger”.