It’s that time again, faithful readers! Yes, you suffered through those annoying posts about movies and greetings and signs, and now you get the payoff. That’s right. Another Snack Food Review!
You know how it’s commonly said that America is the greatest country on Earth? To the point where it’s practically a trope? And to the point that when you visit other countries and tell people you are from America they invariably respond “oh yes, America is a great and powerful country.”? Ignoring those countries where they try to kill us, of course. But in the rest of them… you know what I mean, right? The country that created jazz, and the mystery novel, and baseball, and uh… twerking? Ok, bad example.
But anyway, so yeah. Greatest country on Earth right?
Not any more.
Thin Tiramisu Oreos.
I’ll repeat that.
Thin. Tiramisu. Oreos.
Game over, man. Game over!
(Did you just read that in Bill Paxton’s voice?… moving on…)
I had this whole plan for how this review was going to go. I really did. How I was going to rave about the thin crispness of the half-thickness cookie. How the filling effortlessly straddles the line between sensual indulgence and soul-calming delight. How the adjective noun adverb verb article noun…
Yeah, I just can’t. I am staring at that picture a few inches above this text as I type and wondering why I am wasting time typing about these cookies instead of rushing back to the store to buy another box. And I keep hoping if I can just rack up some more drivel here, the picture will gradually scroll off the top and out of view, but it just isn’t happening fast enough. I can still see them, dammit!
Sigh. These Oreos were sooooooo good. Like “hide the box from the rest of your family” good. Like “cover your mouth while pretending to cough while actually eating another one during this boring meeting” good. Like “murder a total stranger in cold blood with an axe” good.
Ok, maybe only those first two things.
You say America is the greatest country of Earth?
Then I ask you. Where are your Thin Tiramisu Oreos?
Answer me that!
(America is still the greatest country on Earth… But The Bearded Giant might be filling an entire suitcase with these cookies when he returns.)